Self – Help

Hi,

Before you read on, I would like to make a couple of things clear (in the most non-disclaimer tone possible). What you’re about to read today is a collection of thoughts and feelings collated through the experiences of many lovely individuals who shared their stories with me – in hopes to help somebody else. I am not an expert.

If you’re familiar with my work on Instagram, then you might be aware of the fact that this is not the first time I am writing about mental health, well my reasons for that are because I strongly believe that the lack of attention towards mental health is a global issue that affects most nations – one that has not yet been properly addressed.

We are often under the misconception that mental health is linked to the ageing body and we class it as an issue that affects the elderly. Well, we couldn’t be more wrong. Although the figures cannot be measured exactly, mental health disorders as well as issues such as anxiety and depression have been known to affect children as young as five years old.

Don’t Suffer in Silence

People that are affected by mental health issues tend to suffer in silence, for many reasons. They fear that people would start to look at them differently, or that they would be treated differently, or they simply feel that nobody would be able to offer them the support they deserve without being judgemental.

The first step in helping yourself, is recognising that their is some sort of a problem. Often times, we’re in denial about our health – be it mental or physical, and we’re so caught up in our urban lifestyles that we lock any health concerns in to a tiny corner of our mind and some even throw away the key.

Either speak to somebody you can trust, yes you may not have much to say at all and you feel that you might sound ‘crazy’, but the matter can only escalate if you never let it off your mind. You don’t need ‘help’, if the four letter word scares you then don’t use it. What you do need, is to talk it out.

screenshot_2016-09-09-12-22-05-1.png(tip: if you like to write, record your thoughts in a journal – scribble therapy can do wonders)

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But…what is ‘it’?

There is a lot of controversy about what mental health is and the cause/symptoms of certain disorders. Some of the most common problems associated with mental health are; anxiety, depression and OCD.

OCD, which stands for obsessive compulsive disorder, is an anxiety disorder (which according to the oxford dictionary definition) is a disorder in which a person feels compelled to perform certain stereotyped actions repeatedly, to alleviate persistent fears or intrusive thoughts’. I don’t like to dwell on the intricate definitions of issues that can’t be identified or defined absolutely.

However, over the past few years, I have seen the term OCD being thrown around unconsciously and the disorder has been, what I like to call – glamourized. I myself, am not sure whether the humour that has been associated with the disorder is a good level of awareness, I often feel that the ‘jokey’ nature that has been created, takes away from the severity of the issue. Regardless of what you see OCD as, it is one of the most common disorders – 2.3% of the world’s population of adults aged 18-54 suffer from OCD.

“There will be days when getting up and going back to sleep will be all you do and the guilt of being usless will eat you alive – but don’t give up! You are important, your intentions are important” 

Anxiety, is known to lead to people unable to coordinate simple day-to-day tasks, making ordinary decisions can seem daunting and cause distress.

The build up of anxiety and stress can lead to panic attacks,

An anonymous contributor said,

“people should know that there are breathing exercises and techniques to monitor and trigger their attacks.” 

This is where the idea of ‘self-help’ may get tricky for some, the thought of having to manage something as terrifying as a panic attack alone seems impossible, but the truth is that a lot of these attacks can take place when you’re alone, and certainly have no ‘professionals’ around.

(reminder: if a therapist is not available, you can speak to your gp or family doctor – there is no shame in getting help)

What Can You Do?

If you are driving, pull over and park. Trying to get home during an attack would be dangerous, your attention does not need to be diverted, it needs to be relaxed. Focus on your breathing, panic terrors can lead to short quick breaths but try to take deep breaths and focus on your inhaling and exhaling. Most importantly, do not try to fight the attack as this can increase the anxiety and panic.

screenshot_2016-09-09-12-21-15-1.png(tip: try to focus on one thing that you know will always be around during these attacks, for example – count your fingers)

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Depression

Most people that offered me their experiences, said that they found that keeping their minds occupied in certain crafts is what helps them. Finding a hobby shouldn’t be an escape, but should be seen as a safe way of expressing yourself by realxing.

Some find solace in prayer.

screenshot_2016-09-09-12-22-58-1.png(tip: take time out of your day/week to do what you love, be it writing, painting or photography – what ever channels your positive thoughts)

For further advice or to talk, here are some helplines dedicated to easing the percussions of such issues

United Kingdom (TheMix.org) 0808 808 4994

United States (Teen Health and Wellness) 800 784 2433

more

South Asian Society & Mental Health.

Whilst writing this post, I searched for helpline numbers and sites that people could contact should they feel the need to reach out to someone. As a large number of my readers are from Pakistan, I searched for helplines based in Pakistan but unfortunately, I found nothing.

It is slightly upsetting to think that mental health is disregarded in the South Asian and Middle Eastern community. At first, I was disheartened but soon realised that mental health has only started to be recognised as an issue by leading nations fairly recently. The older generation (worldwide) are not properly educated to understand that mental health does not need to be kept ‘hush hush’, it is not something to be embarrassed about.

I urge anyone reading this in Pakistan to get in touch with healthcare organisations/youth centres/or anyone that you think could do something about the matter and create some sort of a helpline that young people, or people of any ages can call or email and know that they are not alone.

The ignorance towards such issues can only be changed by the younger generation. Change does not need to be something substantial initially, even if it is to simply raise awareness, we need to accept responsibility in ensuring that something is done.

screenshot_2016-09-05-18-46-54-1.pngWhilst speaking to someone about their experiences, they said: “..one must get help about mental health, but in case you can’t, remember how important you are”

You’re not alone.

Thank you ever soo much to those that shared their experiences. If you have any advice/suggestions of your own, comment them below to help anyone reading this. 

Rimsha.

*this was a self-illustrated blog post, all doodles were created by me*

To contact me regarding a collaboration or simply to get in touch, drop me an email at: rimsharasul8@gmail.com

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The last 3 days of summer

Hey.

Hi. My intro’s are still as awkward as ever. Today’s post is just to update you on one minor (or major) change to my blog, that is; my site name. I have switched my blog to a self-hosted site which also means that you are now on ‘auburnrhyme.com’. Watching my blog grow the way that it has this summer has motivated me to decide to self-host a little earlier than I had anticipated.

A great big thank you to anyone out there who reads my posts and supports my writing. I appreciate your feedback.

Before you click exit, I have a question.

Since ‘school’ season is around the corner, I have a few post ideas in mind – such as,

  • what’s in my bag
  • my school/university study essentials
  • class routine

Let me know what you would like to see on my blog this September in the comments.

and I would love to hear any suggestions of your own. Though my blog is ran off of my random train of thoughts and what I feel I need to say, I would like to accommodate posts that my regular readers would like to read.

I don’t know about you, but my mind automatically categorises the end of August as the end of summer, even if the weather says otherwise. So I hope you enjoy your last three days of summer.

Rimsha

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To collaborate or inquire about my blog, drop me an email on: rimsharasul8@gmail.com

My Fray’d Notebook

Yesterday I received a notebook, which was sent to me by Fray Design Studios. Or should I say, I almost missed it! the rain was relentless as I tried to reach home in time for my sudden delivery which was due to arrive on the 23rd but made it here a day earlier. Oh heck, a prompt parcel delivery service…I’m not complaining.

Although this is the first time that I have reviewed a product on my blog, I would only ever review something sincerely. If it was any other way, I would just be wasting your time as well as mine.

Firstly, the customer service was perfect. I had a few queries about shipping etc., and lets just say – my questions can get a little bothersome. My inquiry was addressed in a polite and friendly manner which is always a plus.

The Notebook:

A5 ring binder – style.

There are two things I love most about the notebook

  • The sheets are lined in black and they do not have coloured margins – I personally do not like to write on a page that has pink or blue coloured lines. I prefer my pen ink to be the only colours on the page.
  • The cover art.

The cover is of a smooth PVC material and although it is flexible, it does not bend or crease. It is sturdy, which I can imagine would not get damaged at the bottom of your bag whilst travelling.

Oh, the cover art! The design/print of the notebook cover is inspired by Pakistani art, more specifically; truck art. The highlight of the cover is the word ‘desi’, which is printed in the centre in Urdu. The colours and art definitely do give off desi vibes. Overall, I am impressed by the quality of the product. It is a beautiful piece to keep around your desk and I would definitely recommend it (it would also prove to be a great gift idea).

The business and the products are based and made in Pakistan.



From a dream to a business

When customer-business interactions are solely based online, they are minimal and it can be hard to get a feel of the personality behind the products, which is why I had a few questions of my own to ask Faran; the founder of Fray Design Studio.

– Tell us about the inspiration behind your brand name.-

Faran: Fray is my nature

The ‘frayed’ edges of a fabric is relatable to textiles as well. That gave me my brand name.

– Where did your journey begin? –

Faran: I was fortunate enough to stand 4th in a competition held by Messe Frankfurt’s Karachi office. 

The guys that arrange Heimtextil, the largest textile expo in the world. I got a chance to visit the exhibition that year. That was a game changer.

We have been always prepared in uni to work for a company and rarely to work on our own, but after visiting the Fair…it was such an impactful journey that I started thinking about turning my studies into a business back when I was in my final year. After graduation I took a break, was jobless for a while and then started working for Alkaram textiles

It was quite a learning experience, but I wanted to do more.. and in the mean time, Crafter’s Expo started to show up in my fb feed.

I have been following a few brands namely Firefly and Ghazal Peerzada Creative Studio.. and I was sooo impressed and motivated by their work that I planned to quit my job and start to work on my brand to showcase at the Crafter’ expo. It boosted me and then I got an offer from a local Interior studio, Pith, to stock my products there.

– As a fairly recent start up, how do you stay motivated? –

Faran: I like to explore things, and I’m always curious to try something new.. sooo.. this is like my catharsis.

 

I love Pakistan.. I try to bring every element of pakistaniat I can into my designs.

It’s been 1.5 years and one hell of a ride, businesses is not easy and I’m very new to it, was a realization that hit me a few months into doing it. I have a full time job, I freelance and run my business alongside this. 

 

– What is Fray Designs moto? –


Faran: To spread happiness.

I love a few people’s vision: Elon Musk, Mir MAK and YouTubers such as Superwoman and Marie Forleo, and a photographer Brooke Shaden.. 

They sort of helped me by sharing their stories and struggles.. which made me believe more in myself. I might be quite an introvert, but their lectures and stories have helped me understand myself better, taking risk now seems fun.
I’m not afraid to fail.. I’m afraid not to try at all.

~

I would like to thank Faran for sharing his unique journey. I feel inspired by his efforts and the success he has achieved thus far, to check out his original range of products, you can shop at:

Fray Design – Facebook

Fray Design – Instagram
~

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To share your story/inquire about my blog, drop me an email on: rimsharasul8@gmail.com

Let’s Blog 

My ideas are usually random and are the product of daydreaming over a cup of tea, however this idea has been brewing in my mind for quite a while now, and that is; Guest Blogging. 

It’s been a year since I created this blog and the idea of guest blogging has always attracted me. Before I begin, I would prefer if the posts were more like ‘swaps’, as me and my posts would need somewhere to go for the time being too.

So, if you’re interested in swapping posts to guest post on my blog (with the post being written and created by you) or to collaborate on a subject and create a blog-post together, or you’re interested in guest posting but have an idea of your own that I haven’t mentioned, then comment on this post and email me at:

rimsharasul8@gmail.com

I understand that the themes and issues on my blog tend to vary between poetry/prose, lifestyle and societal issues (and whatever else I’m feeling on the day) so guest posting is open to any topic & anyone who is interested, however all I ask is that the content of the post is of high quality and that you dedicate sufficient attention to your writing – as I do. 

I hope you’re having a wonderful day and that this rather vague invitation is of some interest to you. Don’t hesitate in emailing me to simply exchange ideas. 

Happy blogging!

Rimsha 🎈

*as always, this too was a self-illustrated blog post*

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The Liebster Award

After two months of dedicated blogging, I only just realised that I rarely ever say Hello, so today, i’ll start off on a “Hi” note. Get it? Because Hi – high note…

*moves swiftly on with the blog post in fear of getting booed off stage *

I was nominated by Iqra (ramblingsofalazygirl) for the Liebster Award. The nomination sure did come as a heartwarming surprise, thank you Iqra!

Now, I’m sure if someone who is as oblivious to her surroundings in the blogging world as me, has heard of this award, then you have too. You mention the person that has nominated you and answer their questions; then you create eleven more questions of your choice and nominate a few bloggers that you believe deserve the award.

Don’t forget to check out Iqra’s blog.

As much as the award excites me, I cant seem to go about typing this blog post out without it coming across too admin-y.

The questions (my answers):

  1. WHY DID YOU START THIS BLOG? I needed a space to document my thoughts that extended from paper. I guess, I started this blog so that I would have more room to address my imaginary audience (and to actually hear back from them).
  2. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR TALENTS? Ever since my first few days into the part of school that isn’t all about scribbling through colouring books, I learned that at the start of every year, or introductory session – I would be asked about my talents.                   
    The question does no harm but trying to think of an answer made me really anxietal. There’s just something about sitting in a circle at school in your freshly washed uniform waiting to be creased and counting how many people would have to answer before you. Trying to buy – or somehow freeze – time and hoping that when it’s your turn, the circle magically bounces backwards and the pointer picks people anti-clockwise and praying…really praying that you hear the bell for breaktime before you hear the teacher call out your name. I can honestly say that till date – I have found nothing more nerve wracking than having to think of an answer for what my talents are..                                                Me (looking up from my clammy hands) : “I don’t think I have a talent.”
    Teacher: “Oh I am sure you have some hidden talents Rimsha! Well, what are your hobbies?”
    Me (even quieter this time): “I don’t…hobbies oh uurm..I read..Reading?”                                                        
    I didn’t think I had a talent, well at least not one that could be named as easily as everyone elses. I had two left feet, so I could hardly cling to a sport as a talent and I couldn’t paint as neatly as the other girls, or hopscotch without losing my balance. As for today, I guess i could class rambling on and changing the subject ever so slightly to take your attention away from a firm answer as a talent. Maybe?                                           
  3. IF YOU COULD ONLY HAVE ONE MEAL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE – WHAT WOULD IT BE?
    A magical variation of Willy Wonka’s bubblegum that tastes like a three course meal, except mine would change its flavour to taste and fill your appetite for the dish that you’re thinking of before chewing it.Oh, we’re not allowed to pick fantasy foods? In that case, pizza.
  4. WHATS YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?
    Hmm..

  5. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST THAT OTHER PEOPLE DO/DON’T DO?
    Manners, or the lack of them!                                      
  6. ARE YOU A PLANNER, OR ARE YOU SPONTANEOUS?
    I try to plan but I tend not to stick to it exactly. I can be spontaneous too. I mean I wanna say both, is there a mid-point? PLANTANEOUS.          
  7. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM JOB?
    What’s yours?                                                                   
  8. WHAT WERE YOUR INTENTIONS WHILST NAMING YOUR BLOG?
    Well, I named my blog after my Instagram page.  
  9. IF THE SKY IS THE LIMIT, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO NEXT? (I LOVE THIS QUESTION)
    Tea on the moon maybe?

  10. WHO INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?
    I am inspired by anyone who has worked to achieve something beautiful. I am inspired by the questions that push at society.                            
  11. FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU –
    I love to learn old fashioned words that are not in the modern English dictionary, the type I could probably never use in an actual sentence. I nominate:

My Questions to You:

1. If you could describe your blog in one word/phrase, what would it be?

2. What is the most important thing you have learned through your blogging journey so far?

3. What would be one social media feature that you would use in real life, if you could?

4. A fact and a lie about you, let your readers guess which one is true.

5. What was your favourite childhood story/book?

6. Describe the most daring thing you have ever done…

7. If you could only wear one type of shoes for the rest of your life, what would they be?

8. What motivates you to write/blog?

9.  What is your dream destination?

10. Assuming it would be safe to use – what would you change the ocean water to, and why?

11. Are you a morning or a afternoon/evening person?

 (if you’re still reading this, I nominate you to answer the questions/the award too!)

The purpose of the award is to get to know other bloggers, and generally a little more about the bloggers you do know. 

Thank you for reading

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The Lazy Blogger: one year on

When exams ended this summer, I decided to log on to my blog and found that I had 30 followers and almost zero engagment on my posts! I wasn’t surprised as I had neglected my blog for the most part of the year. 

I created my blog with the intention to maintain it wholeheartedly, but I guess I didn’t know how to go about it exactly. I gave myself a choice, to either blog my heart out or pack it in entirely. It’s been a month since I chose the former, and it’s been refreshing to see increased engagement and how far my blog has grown. 

I had created this blog so that I could have a platform to write without a word count (to some degree) and provoke discussion with other bloggers and readers on what really matters.  Though I have only recently started to pay attention to my dormant blog, I guess it’s been a great blogging year! 

I hit three milestones today; a YEAR since I’ve been on wordpress, a THOUSAND likes on my blog and TWENTY posts published.

*success may not be measured in numbers, but when it comes to blogging, I find it easier to record my progression based on the figures*

So, here’s to a more active blogging year ahead. My goals for the coming year are to stay dedicated to posting regularly and connecting with other bloggers. Oh and writing more book reviews! 

On that note, it’s the perfect occasion to share some of my favourite bloggers who each have their own unique style and vibe, that I think is worth a read. 

aclockworkhafsa

herinkedsoul

ofbrownhuesanddarkeyes

newsbynaureen

maheen’smuse

proudpakistanii

abibliophilesobsession

habibafaisalblogs

If you’re new to my blog, say Hi in the comments and link me to your blog/site! 

Woah. That’s enough excitement for one day, 

Rimsha.

*this was a self illustrated blog post*

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Seamless 

I have been meaning to word-vomit my feelings all week, but I guess some things are just meant to be done on a Sunday afternoon (or at least, thats the excuse I make for the lazy writer within me). 

To be fair to myself, I did try once or twice but I couldn’t seem to articulate my emotions onto paper.

Big words are a distraction. There. I said it. Big words, lengthy labels and bright socks on a monochrome outfit are all distractions. Most of my posts tend to sway in the direction of blankly describing the kind of world we live in, I rarely address the world’s that live within us. 

If you’re reading this, you’re lucky enough to be born/currently living in a generation that openly accepts individuality. We each have our own tastes and even reading prefrences, I mean today alone thousands of bookstores worldwide opened their doors to Potterheads awaiting the eighth story. 

It’s ok to love anime but not speak a word of Japanese. Or wear pink on a Tuesday instead of a Wednesday, and ultimately be you; but in all of our original glory – we’re still expected to be perfect. Seamless almost.

I’m forever telling my friends that it’s only human to make mistakes, we’re told that on a regular basis. Yet we don’t practice what we preach. I mean, when do we ever really forgive even the most genuine of mistakes. 

When do we really consider what a person might be going through or the state of mind they have to stand alone to on a daily basis. 

To take things at surface value is a shallow habit that most, if not all of us do regularly. We only accept flaws to a level that we’re comfortable with, because it’s much easier to name & shame, right? 

I believe we are more distracted by the idea of acceptance rather than actually accepting. 

Progression and self improvement is a world within us that grows with new experiences and knowledge. Point being, we learn to accept ourselves and people around us once we have the understanding to know that perfection, a perfect face a perfect body or a perfect character is a myth. 

Doodle reference taken from @ridabee (Instagram)

Each of us is drowning in our own hardships and are in search of our own paradoxical reasoning to make sense of this world. Think before acting upon permeable judgements of someone,

And watch as the burden starts to feel just a little lighter. 

* it may surprise you to know that this was a self-illustrated blogpost, and the doodles are in fact my own, no – they have not been drawn by a three year old* 

I hope you’re having a wonderful day, 

Rimsha. 

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To share your story and be featured on my blog, drop me an email on: rimsharasul8@gmail.com