It’s the fifth day of the new year 2017,
a quick google search tells me that on this day 1892, the first successful auroral photograph was made. It also happens to be my birthday. Yes. On this day 20 years ago, I was born.
Though the first framed capturing of the phenomenonal lights a hundred and five years prior to my birth, was certainly not a precursor of my tiny human self growing to be ‘extra ordinary’. I hate falling to pessimism but considering the fact that I have failed to keep up with the very blog that I promised more than once to update regularly – its safe to say that I am by consequence – below the ordinary mark in ordinary regards too.
Impair ordinare, as the French may call it.
Oh, that’s not what the French call it? Pardon moi.
Usually I would type out a list of excuses for my near ghosting as a blogger. Excuses that would start with me saying “you see, the thing is” and end somewhat on a lower note. But today, I’ll try not to make a rhetoric of myself and simply set out the blunt truth.
You see the thing is (oh, but this isn’t an excuse! I promise) when I started out blogging, my ‘motto’ was to provide positive content. I had this idea embedded within the blog post writing section of my mind (yes, it really does exist), in which I had decided that the world and its inhabitants had enough problems to go around, and so if a reader was to take a few moments out of their hectic day to read a post- it should simply make them smile.
With that came the obvious habit of only sharing the good, but just as I began to write this post- I realised that the ‘bad‘ wasn’t all that bad. Sharing the slightly watered down shades of life could make a reader feel familiar and know that they are not alone in this spectrum of raging intensities.
My brain lacked any space in the blogging department, because a) a family member got sick b) I’ve been busy accommodating for family and guests arriving from abroad and c) I was struggling with assignments.
The final one felt amazing actually, the struggle of putting the work and long hard hours into an assingment – has always done something for me. I can’t quite explain why the bitter sweet dedication one has to put forth into the process is rewarding. Except that, it just is.
As for b), I have had regular guests and extended family coming to visit from abroad and far away places since as far back as I can remember. I don’t know if its just in our South Asian blood or my dads extrovert personality. Guests from distant lands being around isn’t a surprise change. Though having them around every couple of weeks during term time was a sour inconvenience, it’s the knowing that it is illness that has drawn them which was new.
Speaking of new, a) was new. a) was most definitely new. I’d never had to deal with illness being so close to home before.
Early September brought with it the most foreign feeling my almost twenty year old self had yet to come into contact with.
I am quite adaptable. I cut my thumb one day and walked around with it wrapped in a bloody tissue and folded into my fist for two hours so that I wouldn’t have to be told off for being clumsy and have my thumb properly checked. I survived over 120 minutes with one thumb instead of two. That’s pretty adaptable if you ask me.
September was no different. I adapted to the shock. To the regular hospital trips. To the completely changed routine. Though the change along with b) and c) meant that my blog suffered.
Its been 2017 for a while now, and though I may whisper the odd few new year’s resolutions to myself when nobody’s listening, I generally don’t follow the whole ‘new year, new me’ swing. Here’s why.
I personally don’t deem it as entirely healthy to put immense pressure on ourselves to undergo drastic changes – simply because the clock has struck 12. Though I do not see anything wrong with it in principal, setting goals and standards and seeing the new year as a fresh start is a fairly decent way of kicking your productivity up. But lets face it. When we don’t become the new us we had set out to be, it’s bound to set a toll on you somewhere down the line, mentally at least.
I do have a few ‘works in progress’ that I would like to progress further into this year.
So hi there, trusted blog reader. If you’re still reading this, you should know that I will be posting more regularly.
More to the point of this post. I am 20. As of now, I feel just about the same. I mean I’ve been transitioning into the twentieth year since about a year, I’m bound to feel fairly comfortable. I’ve been a teen for so long that knocking the number 1 off the first digit of my age seems a little unfair.
I’m blessed beyond measure, and I have everything to be thankful for. Two decades is a long time to be alive, if I could survive 2016 as a 19 year old – I could pretty much single handedly outlive the zombie apocalypse.
Which I also think is just extravagantly over exaggerated. I mean it might just be a minion take over of the world and more yellow than gory.
You should definitely follow me on Instagram if you’re not already and tune in to my insta-story today, where i’ll be sharing the birthday love by telling you my tips for having a good day.
Phew. This is the most frank I’ve ever been on my blog. I usually curve around my real reasons for being gone.
As I mentioned earlier, if you were here in my absence – I apologise for not being around and you may be going through a particularly shaky time in your life right now,
just know that it will pass – you are strong enough to get through it and get through it you will.
That’s all that matters in the end.
*yes, this was a sparsely illustrated, but certainly a self-illustrated post*
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